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Physicists baffled by elasticity of wrestling ring ropes
Babyface now a middle-aged-man-face
Flair sues Ryder for “woo infringement”
Deathmatches puzzlingly result in zero deaths
Lesnar’s return to wrestling brings legitimacy to UFC
Cena shocked to learn “Five-Knuckle Shuffle” is masturbation slang
Lone female at wrestling convention feels like Smurfette
Harley Race annoyed by nearby Harley race
Ultra-realistic WWE action figures come with bottle of spray tan
“Busted wide open” a bit of an overstatement
Matt Morgan aspires to plug auto insurance like the Geico Gecko
WWE to release t-shirts for those indifferent to Cena
McMahon unveils even more humiliating “Kiss My Face Club”
WWE Divas suspended for using performance-enhancing jugs
“Doomsday Prepper” still hiding in bunker in fear of Y2J problem
McMahon can’t bear to get rid of closetful of baby-blue sportcoats
WWE cuts ties with Machine Gun Kelly amid steroid allegations
Local moron thinks pro wrestling is rigged
Kane feeling strangely indifferent about Undertaker lately
Wrestling historian pretends to enjoy Hackenshmidt matches
“Wrestling Matters,” says TNA wrestler during 25-minute promo
Transcripts reveal Cena never completed Thuganomics PhD
All WWE wrestlers now hoping to lose in 18 seconds
“Showcase of the Immortals” deemed false advertising
