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ELECTION SHOCKER: America Chooses Tunney as New President
CM Punk a role model for youth to be drug-free, alcohol-free, humility-free
Kizarny unsuccessfully pitches “Kizarnosaurus” gimmick to WWE
WWE cures cancer
Scotty 2 Hotty puzzled by The Worm’s absence from 50 Greatest Finishers DVD
Unmasked Aces & Eights turn out to be Disciples of Apocalypse
Tattoo helps wrestler remember his own name
Mick Foley discovers rusty old thumbtack embedded in scalp
New WWE video game more realistic than WWE
TV still paused on “Don’t Try This at Home” screen when paramedics arrive
Ryback seeks rehab for eating disorder
World anxiously awaits PPV review from chubby guy on webcam
Vatican confirms Hell indeed in cell
UFC rips off WWE with roofed “Hell in an Octagon”
“Inescapable” Hell in a Cell has unusually high escape rate
Kane realizes no amount of Febreze will de-stink his mask
Heyman’s ponytail voted World’s Scuzziest Hairstyle
Eugene challenges Ann Coulter to “Retard versus Cunt” match
World’s top CEOs adopt AJ Lee’s skipping-to-meetings technique
Pro wrestling match simultaneously homophobic and homoerotic
Paul Bearer eagerly awaiting his next opportunity to die on TV
Punk starting to wonder if Pepsi royalties will ever come
Undertaker spends 364 days a year dreading going back to work on the 365th
WWE releases non-ugly t-shirt
