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Orton now just going to wait for the ring to come to him
McMahon suddenly realizes “Extreme Rules” is an oxymoron
The Shield demands justice and more helicopter rides
Steve Austin finally gets a hearing aid
All-You-Can-Eat buffet declares bankruptcy following Ryback visit
Rob Van Dam executes 4.20-Star Frog Splash
Tensai summoned back to Japan to battle Godzilla
AJ Lee seeks breast implant advice from Big E Langston
Fandango suspended after failing Wellness Policy test for performance-enhancing pizzazz
Ziggler realizes he left his wallet in that briefcase
Wrestling match ends during commercial break
Alberto Del Rio deported
Attenion-seeking X-Pac now intentionally bleeding from rectum
Jean-Claude Van Damme imitator calls himself “One of a Kind”
Renowned speech therapist releases book on how to let the a’s breathe
Millions of wrestling fans worldwide sign up for ballroom dancing lessons
Fandango’s theme song outsells Elvis, Beatles and Rolling Stones combined
Bo Dallas sets world record for shortest push ever
Smackdown audience preparing to disappoint
16,000 wrestling fans scour New Jersey in search of lozenges
Jericho gets revenge by forcing Fandango to listen to Fozzy
Cynical fan calls every WWE event the “worst show ever”
The Rock to perform in WrestleMania main event via satellite
Winning streak in jeopardy for magical middle-aged zombie who wears eyeliner
