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Fine print on wrestling poster says “Card Subject to Suck”
Money in the Bank briefcase washes ashore in Japan
Undertaker spends yet another day eating ice cream and watching infomercials
Orton beaten to the ring by tortoise
“Wrestling Matters,” says promotion that hired MMA fighter
Kurt Angle arrested for driving while awesome
Duane Gill worried his TNA debut has been overhyped
Crazed fan attacks Orton on behalf of bored fans everywhere
Mysterious TNA newcomer to debut, get released, tonight
Cena donates Bella Twin to Make-A-Wish kid
Natalya misses good old days of farting gimmick
Total Divas popular among viewers who find Jersey Shore too cerebral
Wrestling referee knocked out by friendly tap on the shoulder
Wrestling audience predominantly heterosexual adult males, inexplicably
TNA cuts costs by downsizing to three-sided ring
Royal baby destined to become King of the Ring
Zack Ryder loses squash match to actual squash
Chris Jericho’s family to star in MTV reality show “The Fozzbournes”
Orton fails to cash-in Money in the Bank contract after 17-minute walk to the ring
TNA releases everyone except Hogan
Michael Cole tweets Tout via WWE App in YouTube video posted on Facebook
Ultimate Warrior game character to feature realistic three-maneuver moveset
Punk and Heyman have amazing make-up sex
Rob Van Dam stocks up on Visine
