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Lesnar makes New Year’s Resolution to take more time off work
Heel Daniel Bryan switches to all-meat diet
Leaked WWE documents reveal new names and gimmicks for main-roster call-ups
Manhattan skyline lights up after Undertaker accidentally raises arms
Miz to replace Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible franchise
Increasingly volatile McMahon threatens WWE “shutdown” if ratings don’t improve
Nativity scene at WWE Christmas Pageant ruined after Hornswoggle escapes manger
WWE “seriously considering” Universal Championship run for David Arquette
Hulk Hogan officially the second-worst orange-skinned, wispy-haired buffoon in WWE Hall of Fame
McMahon promises to “shake things up” with more frantic camera zooming
“Changing with the times,” WWE bans all forms of emotional and physical aggression
WWE promises to “change with the times” to crowd still doing 17-year-old “What!?” chant
Vince McMahon says these 5 “big changes” to WWE will “take effect immediately”
WWE CONTROVERSY! So-called “steel chairs” 92 percent aluminum
Predictions for tonight’s Universal Championship ma… oh, wait
Following Lynch’s example, Rollins declares himself “The Woman”
Where Are They Now? Former Tag Team Champion Nicholas
Brains Strowman awarded Nobel Prize in physics
Jeff Hardy naps on ring apron for 12 minutes before anyone notices his eyes are closed
Undertaker reportedly working on debut hip hop album
Lesnar vs. Hogan at WrestleMania 35? Leaked contract appears legitimate
Bayley arrested after multiple car dealerships robbed of inflatable tube men
Music industry announces nominees for its half-assed ripoff of Slammy Awards
We put famous wrestling catch-phrases through multiple layers of Google Translate — enjoy!
