Unreal news, page 96

Michael Cole correctly describes 1974 Cabernet Sauvignon as “vintage wine”

Michael Cole correctly describes 1974 Cabernet Sauvignon as “vintage wine”

Stardust to finally confront that celebrity you’ve never heard of

Stardust to finally confront that celebrity you’ve never heard of

Fandango getting “huge push,” daydreams Fandango

Fandango getting “huge push,” daydreams Fandango

Fifth hour added to SummerSlam to accommodate Undertaker’s entrance

Fifth hour added to SummerSlam to accommodate Undertaker’s entrance

Cena’s nose seeks advice from Foley’s ear

Cena’s nose seeks advice from Foley’s ear

Scientists Taught This Gorilla Sign Language — And You Won’t Believe the First Thing it Said!

Scientists Taught This Gorilla Sign Language — And You Won’t Believe the First Thing it Said!

Lesnar and Undertaker awkwardly show up for same Zumba class

Lesnar and Undertaker awkwardly show up for same Zumba class

SURGERY HORROR: Cena emerges with same nose as Helmsley

SURGERY HORROR: Cena emerges with same nose as Helmsley

Kleenex sales skyrocket as wrestling fans anticipate emotional Raw

Kleenex sales skyrocket as wrestling fans anticipate emotional Raw

Dana White insists pro wrestling “doesn’t even exist”

Dana White insists pro wrestling “doesn’t even exist”

Pro wrestling a “fake” sport, insists promoter of boring sport

Pro wrestling a “fake” sport, insists promoter of boring sport

Millions of wrestling fans gather for enormous group hug

Millions of wrestling fans gather for enormous group hug

Heaven hosting best pay-per-view in eternity tonight

Heaven hosting best pay-per-view in eternity tonight

Lion-killer a disgrace to dentistry, says Yankem

Lion-killer a disgrace to dentistry, says Yankem

Lesnar vows to conquer Undertaker’s seven-year, no-match SummerSlam streak

Lesnar vows to conquer Undertaker’s seven-year, no-match SummerSlam streak

Roddy Piper half-offended over Hogan’s remarks

Roddy Piper half-offended over Hogan’s remarks

Undertaker and Lesnar amicably agree to disagree

Undertaker and Lesnar amicably agree to disagree

Hogan’s comments “deeply hurtful,” says Akeem

Hogan’s comments “deeply hurtful,” says Akeem

McMahon in trouble for alleged slurs against Orange-Americans

McMahon in trouble for alleged slurs against Orange-Americans

Mr. America returns to WWE

Mr. America returns to WWE

It comes crashing down, hurts inside

It comes crashing down, hurts inside

Japan commits “real Pearl Harbor job” on US, reports Gorilla Monsoon

Japan commits “real Pearl Harbor job” on US, reports Gorilla Monsoon

Lesnar expands repertoire with Austrian, Bavarian suplexes

Lesnar expands repertoire with Austrian, Bavarian suplexes

Undertaker-Lesnar brawl re-erupts at local Applebee’s

Undertaker-Lesnar brawl re-erupts at local Applebee’s