The Rock
Satirical news about The Rock, Dwayne Johnson, and the Final Boss. 45 stories, 2012–2025.
The Rock calls in sick for WrestleMania
80,000 fans flock to New Jersey to watch spandex-clad men smeared in baby oil tussle
Newborns looking forward to “Once in a Lifetime” Rock-Cena match
The Rock exhausted from countless title defences at WWE house shows
The Rock’s popularity skyrockets among crackhead demographic
Man shot in the brain suddenly becomes a fan of The Rock
Cereal spokesman to face milk spokesman at WrestleMania
Man shoots himself in other eye to avoid seeing Rock-Cena rematch
The Rock backs out of WrestleMania to film Tooth Fairy sequel
WWE planning “Thrice in a Lifetime” Cena-Rock match
BREAKING NEWS: Royal Rumble match to be replaced by hour-long “Rock Concert”
Contract typo leads to Royal Rumble showdown between CM Punk and Don “The Rock” Muraco
Hostess saved from closure by The Rock’s on-air endorsement of Twinkie Tits
The Rock hires adolescent dimwit as personal joke writer
“I’m here to stay,” Rock tells WWE fans before three-month absence
The Rock goes for monthly teeth-whitening, smile-widening
The Rock’s strudel turns out soft and mushy
Prominent gynecologist concerned about Cena’s lady parts
Rock proves he is slightly less tone-deaf than Cena
Guy who stars in bad movies to face guy who stars in worse movies
