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Primatologists teach Lesnar to communicate with basic sign language
Unprotected sex with porn star allegedly gave Cena a case of Boston Crabs
Valentine’s Day a bittersweet reminder for Kane of Katie Vick
The Rock’s popularity skyrockets among crackhead demographic
Thousands of would-be Olympians apply for work at WWE
Divas Elimination Chamber match booked for Sunday as part of equal rights campaign
“Pope” D’Angelo Dinero applies for vacant job at the Vatican
John Cena romantically linked to Ron Jeremy
Study reveals Elimination Chamber means “toilet” in many cultures
Mick Foley planning one last crazy “bump” for Hall of Fame ceremony
Paperwork error leads to Hall of Fame induction of David Sammartino, not Bruno
WWE Hall of Fame named “World’s Best Imaginary Museum”
Sheamus sues Ryder over the new “Brogue-ski Kick”
John Morrison finally reunites with The Doors
Koko B. Ware calls Sammartino “unworthy” to join him in Hall of Fame
Man shot in the brain suddenly becomes a fan of The Rock
Football fans eagerly await their half-assed version of WrestleMania
Cereal spokesman to face milk spokesman at WrestleMania
UFC to legalize chairshots
Man shoots himself in other eye to avoid seeing Rock-Cena rematch
TNA proves once again that Hogan does not actually know best
Astronomers debate the existence of intelligent life in the WWE Universe
The Rock backs out of WrestleMania to film Tooth Fairy sequel
WWE planning “Thrice in a Lifetime” Cena-Rock match
