CM Punk “walks out” of sabbatical

Elusive professional wrestler CM Punk, who vanished from World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) early this year for what has been euphemistically described as a “sabbatical,” reportedly “walked out” of that sabbatical today.

Details are sketchy as to how, exactly, Punk managed to take a leave of absence from his leave of absence, but “reliable sources” on several wrestling websites have reported it, so it must be true.

“If anyone can walk out of a walkout, it’s Punk,” said one person close to the wrestler, speaking on condition of anonymity. “That guy would walk out of a walk-in closet, just to prove a point.”

Now that Punk is neither an active WWE performer nor a mysterious defector from the company, his whereabouts and future plans are doubly mysterious.

According to some reports, he has moved to a small shack in the Oregon wilderness, where he is penning a 7,500-page manifesto called “Why I Am the Best in the World.”

Adding fuel to this rumor is the fact that Punk recently got a new tattoo bearing the word “UnaPipeBomber.”

Keep it Kayfabe: Wear the shirt