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Paul Bearer’s urn full of M&M’s
Scott Steiner spells word correctly in tweet
Overcrowded prison system adopts the Elimination Chamber model
WWE ring crew finally learns to keep the sledgehammer elsewhere
Lou Thesz rolls in grave during entire deathmatch tournament
Jake Roberts has chocolate or something on his jacket
Exposed to direct sunlight, Sheamus bursts into flames
Sin Cara action figures repackaged as “vintage” Rey Mysterio figures
Bray Wyatt terrifies sick children for Break-A-Wish Foundation
Nearly 100 per cent of wrestlers now have autobiographies
“Straight-edge” CM Punk confesses addiction to his own voice
Zach Gowen somehow performs perfect leg-scissors
Bob Orton injured in Kane attack; will need arm cast for years
TNA winning “Thursday Night War” against PBS pledge drive
Stoppable force meets movable object
Even Larry Zbyszko can’t spell Zbyszko
Patriotic heel only uses illegal domestic objects
Hairless albino mountain gorilla seems to be really mad at John Cena
Akeem’s African heritage called into question
Mark Henry is also World’s Strongest Smelling Man
Physicists baffled by elasticity of wrestling ring ropes
Babyface now a middle-aged-man-face
Flair sues Ryder for “woo infringement”
Deathmatches puzzlingly result in zero deaths
