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TNA teases “huge announcement” for 78th consecutive week
World Wildlife Enterprises claims ownership of WWE acronym
Typo leads to never-ending “Falls Count Nowhere” match
Triple-H relieved he didn’t marry Ted Turner’s daughter instead
Chris Jericho cancels appointment for Brazilian wax
Ring-a-ding-dong-dandy turns into a real slobberknocker
Wrestling described as “soap opera for men” by cliche-spouting twit
D-X proud to have inspired juvenile douchebaggery worldwide
Big Show won’t stop pitching his screenplay for The Princess Bride 2
Vegan, drug-free Daniel Bryan violates Unwellness Policy
Actual lumberjack match results in logging delay
Ultimate Warrior still mildly nauseous from Papa Shango curse
Gorilla Monsoon downgraded to Gorilla Tropical Storm
Ancient biblical scrolls discovered in Jerusalem contain elusive Austin 3:16 verse
Jimmy Uso puzzled by Make-a-Wish request
The Rock’s strudel turns out soft and mushy
Brodus Clay’s momma wishes people would just text instead
Entire roster deemed unfit to perform at ECW reunion show
Frankie the parrot mimics all the lyrics to Piledriver
Lesnar and Steiner argue over whose chest tattoo is uglier
Rob Van Dam outsmarted by his own educated feet
Jerry Lynn to portray Mickey Rourke in documentary about The Wrestler
Bobby Eaton still using “Beautiful” nickname for some reason
McMahon caught singing “Stand Back” in the shower
