CM Punk
Pipe bombs, walkouts, and Pepsi: satirical CM Punk news. 193 stories, 2012–2024.
CM Punk finally just gets a life-size tattoo of himself
The Shield renamed Nexus 2
Paul Heyman confesses he’s “not really a Paul Heyman guy”
Punk’s knee injury attributed to long periods of sitting cross-legged
Ailing Colt Cabana gets Make-A-Wish visit from John Cena
Wrestling fan strangely not ashamed of smug, know-it-all post in online forum
CM Punk a role model for youth to be drug-free, alcohol-free, humility-free
Punk starting to wonder if Pepsi royalties will ever come
Opening segment of Raw features two hours and 53 minutes of talk
WWE pre-emptively sends all talent to rehab
WWE turns heel with pro-bullying campaign
Make-A-Wish kid wearing CM Punk shirt visibly disappointed when Cena shows up
Replica title belt costs more than real thing
Cena accidentally says “You can’t see me” to blind kid
CM Punk accidentally drops a different kind of pipe bomb in crowded elevator
Kane designs “I Dig Dead Chicks” t-shirt
“First Man Standing” match ends quickly
Kane not sure why he’s booked in three-way match either
Wrestling described as “soap opera for men” by cliche-spouting twit
Vegan, drug-free Daniel Bryan violates Unwellness Policy
Jimmy Uso puzzled by Make-a-Wish request
“Straight-edge” CM Punk confesses addiction to his own voice
“Doomsday Prepper” still hiding in bunker in fear of Y2J problem
