Randy Orton
Satirical news about Randy Orton, out of nowhere. 116 stories, 2012–2023.
“One, two, and it’s ov- no, he kicked out!” exclaims commentator who never learns
Voices in Orton’s head escape through gash
RKO comes outta pretty much exactly where you’d expect
Rollins and Cena CONFIRMED for WWE Extreme Rules 2015
Undertaker begins WrestleMania entrance
WrestleMania venue changed to physiotherapy clinic
Rock confirmed for once-in-a-lifetime WrestleMania match against Cena
Adorable! These WWE wrestlers are terrified by cucumbers
WWE says barricade-jumping fans will now be shot on sight
HUGE BATTLEGROUND SPOILER!
Finisher actually finishes match
Report: 94 percent of wrestling fans already in bed when Lesnar arrives
Giant cardboard Colt Cabana head signed to WWE
Apathetic wrestling fans unquestioningly accept cage match with banned moves
Four-way match miraculously non-fatal
WWE Studios announces innovative new strategy to make films that aren’t pure crap
Main-roster superstars now aspiring to get called down to NXT
Orton-versus-Cena confirmed for WrestleManias 31 through 57
Pope endorses Evolution
Study reveals majority of RKOs come outta somewhere
“Abdominal Stretch Outta Nowhere” videos fail to go viral
Orton attains unprecedented popularity by doing nothing
Orton insists he actually RKO’d all those people in viral videos
